A Birthday Letter To Myself

April 22, 2025
1:09 PM

Happy 32nd birthday, Chris. Many of your family and friends have asked you what you wanted for your birthday for the last few days, but you didn't know how to respond. Mostly, I believe they expected you to tell them what you wanted to eat. Yet, you've eaten every day for your entire life with the rare exception of a few days. Some meals were better than others of course, but none of them truly made the difference you were looking for in your life.

You have been deeply unsatisfied in the last few years, but your hunger is a spiritual one. It's a burning desire that can't be fulfilled or satisfied by what others can offer, but one that must be fulfilled through your own blood, sweat, and tears. It's about making your birthday special. Not because it's a magical day where life can shift for you, but because you have the power to make it so.

You've always hated memorizing things. With the world's information at your fingertips, you believed there was no need to memorize anything again. Yet, in the last couple of weeks leading up to your birthday, you've memorized the poem, "If" by Rudyard Kipling. You wanted to create a new norm in your life. You wanted to make the ideas in this poem a part of you. You wanted to become a better man. For your efforts, you have been able to recite the poem in the still moments of your day and embody the ideas a little more frequently. Yet, it was still not enough.

However, late this morning, you've finally arrived at what you wanted most. You want to be able to trust yourself. You want to believe in yourself to figure it out in the face of doubt and uncertainty because you are the type of person who does whatever it takes to make it happen. Whatever 'it' may be. Yet, it's not so easily given and not so easily earned. Trust is rooted in truth and comes from your actions and results. Your trust in yourself must be earned. As you have destroyed it in the last few years, you must rebuild it for the next few years.

You've already learned that it doesn't matter if the world doesn't believe in you if you believe in yourself. On the other hand, if you don't believe in yourself, it won't matter if the entire world believes in you. For your birthday this year, earn your trust. Plant the seed. Nurture it. See how big it can grow. Grow it so big that next year, your letter will not be about the tree you were able to grow, but about the people who enjoyed the shade of your leaves.

2:00 PM
Chris X