What I Learned From My Drawing In 3rd Grade

April 7, 2025
5:19 PM

When I first moved to Canada, I didn't speak any English. But within a few months, I found myself in a 3rd-grade classroom trying to learn new things in a language I didn't understand.

One of the first assignments I received was to make a drawing. The teacher brought a big box of coloured pencils for the class to share. All my classmates immediately ran to the box. I waited my turn, but when it was my turn to pick, I found everyone else had already grabbed the bright and vibrant colours, leaving me to choose from the rest. So, I grabbed a palette of dark colours that no one wanted to use and did my best to colour my drawing with the shades and tones I had.

Later that year, my parents came in for a parent-teacher interview. When my mom walked into the classroom, she saw the back wall covered with the bright drawings of my classmates and one drawing colored in black, brown, and grey. She told me that she was surprised to find a child had drawn something so dark, but even more shocked to see that it was mine. She tried to talk to me about it, but I didn't have much to say back then. I told her I drew it without much thought and went outside to play. I think this made my mom more concerned. Assuming the worst, she didn't want to keep poking at something I didn't want to talk about. For a long time, my mom didn't mention the drawing again.

Over a decade later, when I was visiting home from university, she brought up my drawing from 3rd grade. She carried the memory with her all these years and didn't feel at peace because she felt she put me through so much as a child. I explained what happened. I told her that those were the colours I liked from what was available. As I explained, I could see the weight she carried all these years lifted off her shoulders. If I had known I would've given my mom so much to carry over the years, I would've made more of an effort to explain the situation better back in 3rd grade.

As I grow older, I realize how significant these vulnerable and open conversations are in any relationship. I didn't feel the need to be understood when I was a child. So, I didn't see the need to explain myself to others at the time. However, I realized too late that, while it was not important for me, it was important for my mom to understand what I was going through.

Relationships are not all sunshine and rainbows. A part of building a great relationship is creating memorable moments with others you can share for a lifetime. However, it's also about being able to raise issues and talk through the differences that will inevitably surface during your time together. Otherwise, resentment will slowly create distance in your relationship until eventually, there will be no relationship to distance.

If you have someone important in your life, create a space and time in your relationship that allows you to have difficult conversations with each other. You'll find that each situation you navigate together won't only bring new clarity and understanding to the situation, but deepen your connection with one another.

Chris X
6:24 PM